United Kingdom: Catholic counsellors” “

Great Britain has the highest rate of divorces and second marriages in Europe. In 1981 there were 275,000 marriages in which husband and wife had not been previously married, 140,000 second marriages for one or both partners and 150,000 divorces. In 1997 first marriages totalled 190,000, second marriages remained at the level of 140,000, while divorces had risen to 160,000. In 1998 150,000 children below the age of sixteen came from families where the parents were divorced. In the two-year period 1998/1999, 25% of families with children under the age of sixteen were single-parent families, almost double the figure in 1981. Divorce and separation are the main reasons why children do not live with both their parents. In the UK today one marriage in three ends in divorce. Nonetheless, alongside the statistics that document the extent of the crisis, other studies, conducted by the Universities of Warwick and Essex confirm that the desire for marriage is very strong among teenagers, and in spite of the frequent recourse to cohabitation, those who marry declare themselves more satisfied that those who cohabit with their partners. And what about the five million Catholics in the UK? The statistics say that, on the one hand, they reflect the society in which they live: ever more frequently they only get married after a period of cohabitation; they marry less often, and get divorced more often. But, on the other hand, the majority of Catholics testify to their faith in a married relationship that lasts for the whole of life. We asked one Catholic, Terry Prendergast , director of “Marriage Care”, the most important association of Catholic marriage counsellors in the UK – it runs centres in every big town – to explain the complex British situation. To what is due, in your opinion, the very high rates of divorce and cohabitation that characterize the United Kindom? “I think there is a highly consolidated liberal and secularized tradition in this regard. Equality between the sexes, and individual freedom, have transformed the traditional roles of husband and wife. We have become more free, more masters of ourselves, but, paradoxically, less capable of creating and maintaining family bonds, because new roles have replaced the traditional ones. The British continue to fall in love and desperately wish their love to endure; but they can no longer rely on social and religious forms that may help them to ensure that their marriage becomes the expression of a greater love. The law too has contributed to making separations easier”. What provision is made by the law on divorce? “Divorce was introduced as early as 1857 and in 1923 women were given the same rights to divorce as men. In 1937 a series of ‘matrimonial offences’ was defined, on the basis of which an application for divorce could be filed, and in 1971 the end of a marriage was legalized without any blame being attributed to one of the two partners in question. In short, since the 1960s the State and the Church of England, which until then has been contrary to divorce with the exception of cases of adultery, have recognized that a marriage may end without any particular motivation, and without any blame being apportioned to either the husband or wife. In the following ten years the divorce rate doubled”. What role is played by “Marriage Care”? “The churches and the religious communities are now among the few credible institutions dedicated to the defence of marriage, and for this reason the government has decided to sponsor and support the work of Catholic marriage counsellors. ‘Marriage Care’ organizes courses to prepare young couples for marriage and is a point of reference when couples feel they are going through a period of crisis. It’s important to continue the married relationship as long as is possible; and that’s why counselling has an important role to play. In England and Wales, moreover, each diocese has a coordinator for marriage and family life”.