“Even though the idea of setting up a laboratory for mothers and daughters-in-law may seem a bit ridiculous, it is undeniable that bad relations with the family into which a girl has married may lead to a marriage breaking down”. The point is made by Mar Sánchez Marchori, who has run the first course of family communication held at Valencia, in Spain, on relations between mothers and daughters-in-law, organized by a group of Christian women psychologists, teachers and educationalists at the city’s Antaviana Centre. The aim of the course Sánchez explains is “to improve the traditionally complex relations between mothers and daughters-in-law”. Sánchez, who has been conducting research for years on married life, recalls that “more than 33% of couples have problems with the family of their spouse. The most conflict-prone countries are Spain, Italy, Mexico and Venezuela. The results of the course she says “have been very encouraging: improvement in the relations between the participants and a long waiting list. Indeed, the list of people wishing to enrol in the course has exceeded all expectations, and already thought is being given about how to integrate experiences of this type in marriage guidance courses and in other venues”. Mar Sánchez, who teaches family mediation at the John Paul II Institute in Valencia, explains that “in Spain there has never been a programme of this type, though I am familiar with one in Italy, at Reggio Calabria”. The laboratory has permitted “real conflicts to be recreated (economic dependence on the husband’s family, proposal of the mother-in-law as model for the wife to follow, etc.), and has tried to identify solutions, giving priority to listening to the two sides and to the willingness to resolve conflicts”, adds Sánchez. Those enrolled in the course, more than double than predicted, have been mainly mothers-in-law, but also daughters-in-law, sons-in-law and one father-in-law. The course has tried to “teach how to be better mothers- in-law and better daughters-in-law, not only by using the techniques of psychology, but also by recommending such Christian virtues as forgiveness and self-giving”.
