France" "
In France, the 40% of all marriages end in divorce:” “the guidelines of the bishops” “
Considering the increasing fragility of marital relationships, French bishops (Assembly of Lourdes 2002) express firm hope that “church marriages should not be considered consumer goods and an automatic right”. They are actually requesting “at least one year of preparation, because all too often, the bride and groom have no religious culture at all and ignore the sacrament’s obligations”. According to the most recent survey, during 1991, 136.101 couples requested instruction while in the year 2000 there were only 108.229. “Preparation for marriage must encourage the bride and groom to identify those who will be capable of helping them in times of need, to eventually choose them as ‘witnesses’ for their marriage”. The cure in the choice of the witnesses is one of the guidelines of the French bishops in the final text of Assembly 2002. Numerous couples are having problems, a matter the bishops do not ignore: “parish services for family help and specialised organisations will open welcome and dialogue centres for married couples with serious problems”. In the Metz dioceses, on the German border, the Catholic committee for family information ( Cecif) has been created. The committee, composed by six volunteers, of these two are marriage consultants, is situated in the Bishop’s palace, and is open to the couples every afternoon providing magazines, books and videos. For those who are separated or divorced. However while the number of marriages is decreasing, the number of divorces is rising: 40% of all marriages end in divorce, and in Paris 50%. “Single parents, single mothers, those who are divorced or legally separated, widows or widowers – emphasises one of the directors of ‘ Single parents‘, a branch of the Emanuel community -, need to have a place in which they are made welcomed and listened to, so as to rediscover confidence in themselves and in others. This involves a three-stage interior journey involving denial, revolt and acceptation”. According to these guidelines, conferences are held regularly in Paris within the framework of the Institute for families. The subjects for the year 2003 were: the difficulties encountered by a single mother, the single parent and the adolescent, help from grandparents, and always being a father come what may. A number of organisations have been created for those who are separated or divorced and wish to remain faithful to the sacrament of marriage. One of the oldest celebrates its 20th anniversary: with its 230 members, “ the Notre-Dame de l’Alliance communion” was recognised last year by the French episcopate as a religious movement participating in the apostolate of lay people. Its members renew each year their sacramental ‘yes’ on their wedding anniversaries; they are committed to reciting at least once a week the “family prayer”, and they meet once every three months also taking part in a yearly five day religious retreat. For those who are divorced but have remarried, there had been a complete U-turn thanks to a experience, implemented, for a number of years, by a priest belonging to the Dijon dioceses together with the Episcopal Commission for families. “What always affects me – remarks one of the people responsible for family pastoral support in Paris – is the fact that one becomes capable of seeing the difference between excommunication, which does not involved divorced people who remarry, and being deprived of sacramental communion which does concern them. In almost all the parishes in the capital, there is now a welcome point for these people, and regular meetings a priest also takes part in”.
