With open arms

“Familias”, the Association for the family, is the initiative promoted by the coordinators of “Everybody’s Welcome”, the pastoral plan developed by English bishops in 2006 to respond to the needs of families that wish do draw closer to the Church. The initiative was inaugurated a few days ago. Silvia Guzzetti, interviewed Clara Connelly, steering group member from Shrewsbury diocese, for SirEurope. “Diocesan coordinators of marriage and family life ministry in the dioceses of England and Wales – she explained – have held regular meetings two times a year. However, this is the first time that meetings are held in a more formal environment. It was our belief that a name and a logo would enable our identification and attract new members”. What is your objective? “First of all, we provide training for family ministry in each diocese and parish throughout the Country. Sometimes the persons in charge are volunteer workers, other times they are hired full-time”. What are the activities of family coordinators? “I will speak of my personal experience. I endeavor to enable each couple of Shrewsbury’s diocese to undergo marriage preparation and meet with a priest or a deacon. I also organize “marriage enrichment” meetings for those who are married and wish to enhance the quality of their wedlock. We address marriage in terms of vocation and of couple communication and conflicts. But there have been difficulties”. Of which kind? “In families where both parents are employed and have small children, like most couples, it’s hard to manage to go out in the evenings. Although we only provide the possibility to meet other couples and we don’t ask husband and wife to speak of their personal problems, often the couples that are invited imagine that they will be asked to examine private aspects of their lives and thus reject the idea. “Positive parenting” seminars are more successful; in fact many couples always attend them. Could you tell us more about “Positive parenting”? “The plan was developed in Northern Ireland. It is addressed to children under the age of five, from five to fifteen and from fifteen to adolescent age. The course is divided into six meetings, one per week, during which we seek to promote parents’ skills and improve communication with children. The courses are also open to single, separated or divorced parents”. Do you provide counseling also to divorced couples? “Of course. We hold meetings, on a confidential level that include moments of prayer, readings from the Bible and dialogue. I am supported by a team of five volunteers, two of whom are separated and divorced”. In Great Britain one union out of two ends with a divorce. What are the causes? “All the divorced people whom I have met say they believed it was their life-long commitment, and that they couldn’t imagine it would ever end. At times it’s because one of the two had an extramarital affair or it may happen that difficulties are triggered by an excessively controlling spouse”. According to a survey conducted a few years ago, 15 thousand Catholic families say they don’t feel welcomed within the Church. Do you think they feel that the Church is not doing enough for the family? “According to my personal experience, we support families in many different ways throughout parishes and dioceses. We help people undergoing difficult financial situations and we organize family days. Often our proposals are not met. The couples find it hard to accept external support. However I believe that this their perception rather than truly motivated by poor reception on the part of the Church. I would like to think that all couples feel they are being welcomed into parishes with open arms and that in case of need they can always turn to the Church for help”.