“Stop Martin and help Hannah”

The scene takes place inside the small office of a gym instructor. His name is Martin, Hannah is the young prey. The sequence has a sly, slow pace. He tells her how to do her exercises. Standing behind her, he extends her legs with his knees. She hesitates but consents, but doesn’t understand why he’s holding her there. She tries to brake away but he blocks her and whispers: “Do not forget: other people shouldn’t know what I think of you. They would make a fuss. It’s our secret”. The publication by children’s book author Koler Janssen is called “Hannah says no”. Its purpose is to raise children’s awareness on “transgressive sexual behaviour”. The story – unprecedented in Church-produced literature for paedophilia prevention – is told in a brochure titled “From taboo to prevention”, edited by the inter-diocesan Commission for Child and Youth Protection, presented June 2 in Brussels. Tears and motherly embrace. After the choc of 2010, when the Belgian Church was overwhelmed by the revelations on the first cases of abuse committed within it, the bishops and superiors of religious Congregations decided that the zero-tolerance policy against the phenomenon of paedophilia in the Church had to be accompanied by a prevention strategy. “It’s not enough to admit past mistakes and provide support to the victims – pointed out psychotherapist Tine Van Belle -. It’s equally important to do the utmost so that these episodes may never happen again in the future”. The story of Hannah ends at home, at dinner, when she breaks out in tears. “I no longer want to go to gym classes”, she tells her mother, who stares at her seeking to understand. She then takes the girl in her arms and says: “Tell me what’s going on”. Hannah continues to cry, until she slowly starts to open up. “Hannah said no” is the story of a young girl who found the courage and an “open door” to speak out. This is the key to face the tragedy of violence, which contains the message that bishops and religious want to share with children and youths: you must speak out, break the wall of silence, win over the code of silence at all costs. A code of conduct. The brochure is a veritable code of conduct addressed to pastoral workers in particular. The document is accurate; it never indulges in generalizations. It reiterates that every pastoral relationship should be based on a delicate balance between proximity and distance. It equally highlights those “signs” that should ring a bell of alarm, such as the constant presence of someone inside a group of minors without a reason; this person’s lack of relations with his peers; the abuse of power or authority. The publication also underlines behaviours that could be misinterpreted. For example, delicate situations that risk triggering insinuations and accusations should be avoided. It should be known that sometimes, apparently innocent behaviour (like hugging a child or a youth) could be misinterpreted. From this perspective it is equally important to avoid situations of isolation with minors and any forms of violence should be always rejected. The role of parents. The document includes a dedicated chapter for parents to make them aware of the consequences of sexual abuse on the psychological balance of minors along with the appropriate therapies that can be adopted. “Sexual abuse – the brochure states – can occur in every social class, in any institution, organization and group”. Nobody is immune to this problem, while those who abuse a child have a totally “normal” profile and in most cases are male. They are neither sick nor “mentally retarded”. Usually these people know children very well and enjoy their full trust. Often it’s hard for parents to discover and recognize abuse because the child never speaks about it spontaneously. In most cases episodes of violence or abuse are revealed in a purely accidental way. That’s why it’s very important that adults do not underestimate situations when, for example, a child shows to have a sexual education that is not normal for his/her age. Beware also of changes in behaviour like recurring nightmares, self-closure, tendency to avoid people, places and even specific objects”. “It’s normal for parents to fall into a state of deep depression when they discover that their child has been the victim of abuse – is written in the brochure. However, the most appropriate behaviour is to “keep calm” and encourage the child to speak about it, making it clear that “the child is not responsible for the sexual abuse he/she has been a victim of”.