“A road for happiness”

A saint between domestic walls seated around the dinner table with their family, asking about the price of bread and of rent, playing pillow-fighting with their younger children, and listening to the married couple, to the ever-present joys and torments… To Ludmila and Stanislaw Grygiel, from the Pontifical Institute John Paul II, Karol Wojtyla was one of the family, a friend and a guide. “At the time we lived in Krakow; I met the future Pope while completing a PHD in Philosophy. He was my teacher”, said Stanislaw. His wife Ludmila added: “There was a party atmosphere when he came over to visit. He listened deeply, shared warm smiles, and encouraged us as young married couple. He invited us to see life with courage and seek sainthood in our everyday life”. Observing reality. Mr. and Mrs. Grygiel have been living in Rome for the past 30 years, they teach at the Institute for Family and Marriage studies, established by Pope John Paul II in 1982. During the years of his Petrine ministry the two scholars – authors of various publications on the subject, called to deliver a lecture in October at the plenary Assembly of the Council of European Bishops’ Conferences – accompanied the Pope on themes related to married life. They followed all the preparatory stages as well as the realization of the Extraordinary Synod Assembly in the Vatican. “The very theme of the Assembly shows and highlights for everyone the central role of the family in the life of the Church and of society as a whole”, Ludmila Grygiel told SIREurope. “Naturally, the family should be observed in all its dimensions, starting with those who received greater attention on the media to all other families mentioned in the speeches of the Synod Fathers. It is necessary to convey anew, relentlessly, the beauty and the joy of family life, thereby encouraging young people to get married. Obviously this requires to be aware of real situations, understanding the difficulties of those who wish to get married but can’t for practical reasons”, for the lack of a job or of a house, for example. “We must be close to the young. And bear concrete witness to the fact that the sacrament of marriage is a road to make women and men happy. The family is the primary place for lay sanctification”. Ordinary sainthoods. “The pastors must be sensitive to the life of the spouses”, continues Stanislaw Grygiel. Which special attentions are needed? “Let us say that in some cases there should be less sociology and perhaps a glance to the heavens along with greater attention to the daily lives of individuals and families. We should place greater attention on the example of many families that incarnate the icon of the sacred family, that show God’s presence. Many married couples are faithful, laborious, actively engaged in society and at work… These are ordinary sainthoods that we have to learn to contemplate, to eventually plan the pastoral care of families”. Shepherds, according the Polish Professor, should “co-exist, co-suffer, co-rejoice together with families”, being near them, praying with them and accompanying them in the various stages of life. “They should weep with all those who suffer, with all kinds of suffering. And then start anew together with them”. Community responsibility. Ahead and during the Synod, the themes of failed marriages, welcoming new lives, education, affectivity, were equally addressed. What is your opinion? “In the Church the – positive – idea seems to emerge that each family and each union can be an occasion for sainthood, also in those situations marked by fatigue and misunderstandings”, continued Stanislaw Grygiel. His wife added: “Pastoral care should encompass all of these situations, every day, in every situation or Country. I would like to add that the priest that has celebrated a marriage should later feel involved in the quest for happiness on the part of the spouses, facing sad moments, challenges that lie ahead, also the most customary ones: the question of parents’ work, an infant who doesn’t sleep, the choice of the school for children, access to medical care for the sick and for old people, a loss. Moreover, the entire Christian community should share the daily lives of its families. There is the need for open, welcoming parishes marked by solidarity”. “Spouse of spouses”. The then bishop of Krakow was often a guest in your home: could you share some more recollections? “Karol Wojtyla was rich in human experience, that he lived fully. He was an attentive observer of the family. We both believe – the couple stated – that his authoritativeness in this field sprung from direct, shared, participated experience. It should also be said that already many years ago he had predicted some of the difficulties that affective and married life encounters today. We believe that he learned to love the love from spouses. Today he would say: ‘I am the spouse of spouses.’ And we have a wish”. Which? “That Saint John Paul II may be proclaimed Patron Saint of the Family”.