Nordic countries: “Here everything is different”

One of the features brought to the fore during the Extraordinary Synod on the Family, which has just ended, is the wide range of situations and problems experienced by families in Europe and in the rest of the world, highlighted by the Synod Fathers. It can be seen, for example, while listening to the experience of the Nordic countries, which on the initiative of the Bishops’ Conference (which includes Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Finland and Iceland) are carrying out a set of “meetings in support of the family every four years in one of five countries alternately”, Johanna Bos, from the parish in the Diocese of Copenhagen, responsible for the preparation of the second meeting scheduled to take place in May 2015 in Denmark (the first was held in Sweden in 2011), told Sir Europe. A group of lay people coordinates the event that about 300 people are expected to attend. It will be a time for sharing and celebration, “with few scholarly initiatives”. The only lectures planned are those by Bjørn Håkonsson, a psychologist and a deacon, husband and father, and by the bishop of Tromsø Berislav Grgic, responsible for family ministry of the Episcopal Conference. What is the purpose of the event in Denmark? “We do not want to focus on the negative aspects of the family. Rather, we wish to infuse courage. That’s why the title chosen is ‘The strength of the Catholic family’. Here in Denmark there are 40 thousand Catholics, only half of whom are Danish, while the rest are Polish, Filipino, Tamil, and other nationalities, out of a population of 5.2 million inhabitants. Catholic families are in need of courage, they need to be seen, not to hide. For a long time being a Catholic was almost a reason for shame. There is even a Danish saying that associates Catholics to insanity. So we need to show what we believe in with daily gestures such as praying, making the sign of the cross before meals or displaying faith in homes with a crucifix or an icon. The meeting will be very practical, with many workshops and occasions for sharing experiences or even books on the family, as well as the religious education of children”. What are the main features of Catholic families in Nordic Countries? “For us a Catholic family often means a mixed family. It’s a customary presence, and we expect they will be present also in our meeting. These families need a great amount of support: at the beginning of marriage all the basic elements of religious life are present, but with time it starts getting harder, like when the non-Catholic spouse starts asking whether “it is really necessary to go to Sunday Mass”. Those who manage to abide to a Catholic path usually manage to involve also the non-Catholic spouse, who in many cases feels curious and at times converts to Catholicism”. What is the situation of families in Nordic countries? “There is an extreme form of tolerance, in the sense that everything is permitted. In Denmark and in the Lutheran Church homosexual couples are recognized as families, they often have children, and homosexual marriages received a blessing in the Lutheran Church. It is not the case for the tiny Catholic Church where everyone knows everyone else and where those who are ‘different’ find it hard to be accepted. But it’s also hard to remain Catholic in daily life, since it’s a choice that requires time and dedication. For example, we see that children who go to Catechism receive no form of Catholic education in the family”. Nordic Countries shine for their birth and family policies… “In almost all of our States there has been a long period of social-democratic governments that sought to direct a society in which everything was guaranteed ‘from the cradle to the tomb.’ To ensure that husband and wife remain active in the job markets it is necessary to provide solutions for the offspring, that are sent to nurseries already at six months”. Are these truly effective policies? “Indeed, but with this system the family concept is breaking up. For several generations already children are raised by institutions. Many parents experience it with a sort of guilt feeling. When in week-ends there is enough time for children, they are ‘overburned with love’ and many parents don’t realize the meaning of educating their child. There is no transfer of knowledge on simplest things, not even between generations inside a family. Increasing numbers of professionals and educators support parents by giving them courage and helping them make the right choices. Moreover, for a long time, educational guidelines were geared at a freedom-oriented form of education, with no rules. Now there is increasing awareness that this might not be a good thing and that many children need a strong hand in life”. What was the impact of the Synod on the Family in Scandinavian Countries? “I don’t know to what extent the topics addressed in the Synod are so lively amidst Catholic population. In our Catholic period we have spoken about and we still continue to do so, but with scarce impact… Among other things, the Catholic Church in our Countries doesn’t have the force to show all of its beauty. There are many few of us and with scarce economic resources”.