Father’s day: still necessary despite 50 years of overshadowing in Western societies

Is it still possible to be a “father” in Western societies, after 50 years spent “killing the father” (as was repeatedly asked by Freudian psychoanalysis), defined “unnecessary” (according to the usual “champagne socialist” culture advocating autonomy at all costs), or removed completely (as in the laws on abortion), or transformed in an option (as in the laws on marriage and child education), to the extent of considering it a mere socio-cultural fabrication (according to gender theories)? Indeed, this hostile climate has produced what can be defined as the overshadowing of the father, whose consequences are inevitable.
The first consequence is that there are no more “fathers”, and there are no more adults either, since paternity corresponds to the fulfilment of adulthood. In fact, while life is a received gift that by nature tends to become a gift bestowed, adulthood is the result of the free choice to move on from the passive reception of the gift to the active bestowal of self-giving. Thus an adult is the one who generates, who looks after the other person, who feels responsible for that person, who acts as that person’s guardian, who takes on the other’s person’s burden and fragility, even for worse. In this respect Berdjaev says that Cain killed Abel not when he dealt him a mortal blow but when to the Creator he denied being Abel’s “keeper”. Not feeling responsible for the other person amounts to murdering him! The same Russian author explains that the final judgement will revolve around the same question that God will address to every human being, and in particular to those who feel they are good persons, like Abel: “Where is your brother Cain?” It amounts to our responsibility towards our fellow other, especially towards those who are in the wrong.
If the father disappears so does responsibility, leading to a world of ever-bickering children or irascible (pre) adolescents, adults only for the civil registry. A world where nobody is responsible for anyone.

The father is – and is called to be  – the person that balances independence and adherence to codified  values,  the care for oneself and for others, freedom and responsibility, objectivity and subjectivity. An educational process is such only thanks to this balance, to the presence of a father engaged in a constructive relationship with a spouse (who is also a mother). This argument is naturally extended to the married couple: the categories of mother and father, male and female, are complementary and irrevocable in a sound, adult society, where everyone is complementary to the other person with the aim to jointly generate happiness and life.  Primal emotional bonds, in harmony with each other, constitute the cornerstones of our identity; all that exists beyond them is identity confusion and relational chaos, where nobody is true to him/herself nor at peace with him/herself and with others.

But

the father’s presence today is necessary also at the level of the faith.

Paternity remains the primary feature of God, and the earthly father, with his way of relating, of loving, of desiring the growth and the joy of his son, of stepping aside to make room for him, is the primary image of God the Father for the Son. The style of that relationship is the fountainhead of every journey of faith or else it could be interrupted or deformed forever. The fact that the quality of the relationship with God largely depends on the quality of man’s primal relationship with his parent is a great mystery and it is also a great responsibility for every father!
That’s why the father is necessary still today, as always. Yet, maybe more than in the past, today it is necessary for the Church to offer formative paths of paternal vocation. The most beautiful vocation of all!