The family, opening eyes to reality

An “excessively difficult” language, “obsolete”, “religious”, “distant from reality”, “inaccessible”. Belgian Catholics gave the thumbs down to the written style of the “Relation Synodi” and the questionnaire on the family sent to Bishops Conferences worldwide, ahead of the second Synod event in October. Sharp criticism is contained in the summary of answers drawn up by the Secretary General of the Belgian Bishops’ Conference, Msgr. Herman Cosijns, released on June 17. The report’s publication occurs on the day on which the Holy See published the list of the members who will participate in the XIVth Ordinary General Assembly of the Bishops’ Synod due to be attended also by monsignor Johan Bonny. The choice of the bishops of Anversa is not by chance. Last year Msgr. Bonny wrote a lengthy, scholarly document titled: “Synod on the family. The expectations of a diocesan bishop”. “What do I expect from the Synod? It should not be a platonic Synod – he wrote -, I hope it does not withdraw on a reassuring island of doctrinal debates or general rules but rather have open eyes to the concrete and complex reality of life”. “Defensive approach”. Thus Belgian Catholics did not appreciate the questionnaire. It appears as a text – states the report summarising the answers – “addressed to priests of members of the Church who accompany the families”. In a word, written exclusively for insiders. Indeed, the choice of certain words could even “ideologically influence some questions” causing in the man on the street a feeling of “alienation” towards the image of a traditional Catholic family and of procreation “no longer recognized in Belgian society”. But the protests of Belgian Catholics focus on the “moralizing tone” that characterises the document. A tone that leads persons to “feel excluded and drift away”. Thus the report describes a Church that has “failed in the dialogue with a changing society”. What is contested is not the “man-woman family model” but rather the “defensive, moralizing approach, marked by disapproval and dogmatic tone” transmitted by the ecclesiastic institution when excessively close attachment to the marriage doctrine is expressed. Listening, understanding… The questionnaire highlights not only criticism but also expectations. Belgian Catholics expect a pedagogy with greater trust in love “in all its forms and colours” and a Church willing to open up to everyone “without judgement”, capable of listening to “the concerns of young couples” and be “warm, friendly, accessible and credible”. At question n. 19 in which the Synod fathers ask: “how can we make understood that Christian marriage corresponds to God’s original plan”, Belgians answered that this expression reveals “a lack of humbleness on the part of the Church”. The said they were “irritated”, and asked: “what do we know of God’s original plan?”, adding: “Christians are not the only depositors of fulfilment” and “not only Christian marriage is compatible with God’s plan. Every bond is a sacrament of the Kingdom of God in the world”. For the majority of Belgian Catholics it’s “essential” to highlight “the human values present in every union and proclaim that in them God is actually present. In every relationship there is a desire and a quest for union. The grace of God does not stop before a certain kind of family”. Access to sacraments. Also the passage of the Relatio Synodi and the questionnaire on “wounded families” (divorced, remarried divorcees and single-parent families) was not appreciated. Many responses to the questionnaire highlight “discrimination” towards these families, “a sign of a hierarchy that is not yet ready to welcome them”. They want to communicate to the Synod that “many of those whom the Church considers ‘irregular’ don’t identify with this definition, nor are they “responsible to the eyes of God and in their relationship with the Church”; they participate “serenely to the sacraments, without creating scandals in the parish community”. Also n. 52 of the Relatio where the synod fathers speak of an “effective situation of sin” was met with negative reactions. Also in this case the “language” was considered problematic: “the use of the term sin was viewed as judgemental” and the majority of Belgian Catholics hope that remarried divorcees may access the sacraments, in particular those of reconciliation and of the Eucharist. The final message is: we should refrain from hastened judgement of situations that are generally very complex” and “we should not close remarried divorcees within their failures”. A for paragraphs 55 and 56 of the Relatio, dedicated to people “with homosexual tendencies”, the Belgians criticized the term “tendency”, which in their view should be replaced with “nature”. They call upon the Church to show greater coherence, since “some priests already bless homosexual unions” regretting the “lack of cohesion among the pastors”.